We all know someone who just can’t seem to shut up about themselves. My parents had to get call display to avoid being trapped in three-hour conversations/monologues with the neighbour going through a drawn-out divorce. At a gallery night, I got trapped by a stranger who took the opening of “How are you doing?” to launch into a twenty-minute description of his family history with alcohol. I told him, “I need a drink,” and took my leave.
Selfish and inconsiderate persons who insist on going on and on and on about their damn selves deserve no gentle politeness from you. When you get cornered by such a boob, remind them that a conversation involves two with this barbed question, courtesy of Ms. Lara: “Can we turn this diatribe* into a dialogue?”

*Diatribe N. A forceful verbal attack. From the Illustrated Oxford Dictionary c1998.