It’s nothing personal but I hate everyone. Actually, if you’re reading this, I probably don’t hate you. And those people I hate probably know who they are.
A ninja philosopher hippie boy with a funny accent (hi Zed) once told me “You are a child of the universe.” Well, I certainly do feel like a compact lil’ speck, only I’m stuck on a planet full of sharp jabbing shards. Noisy jabbering shards. As another ZombiePirateNinjasomethingsomething once said “Stabby stabby stabby.”
One more quote: “Hug it out, bitch. Hug it out.” God, I love The Office.

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