Traffic is moving a little too slowly. What the hell happened?

Ah, it’s raining a little. It’s been sunny. Therefore, there’s probably been an accident. Why are people so stupid? Why don’t they be a little more careful?

Oh look, the street’s been blocked off. Must be a doozy. Should I turn around, or follow the traffic along the detour? Looks like a few people are turning around. Hmmm. Nah, I’ll just run into traffic somewhere else.

Why did I decide to drive somewhere at 4 pm on a weekday?

You know, it didn’t used to be like this, all this traffic everywhere.

Isn’t it Bike to Work Week this week?

I hate each and every one of you, especially those of you in front of me. Why aren’t we moving?

Back in the day, I always had these boyfriends who lived in Burnaby, even though I lived in North Van. And because I was in University, I had evening jobs. So I could go to my boyfriend’s house in the afternoon, and make it to my job in North Van in about half an hour, in rush hour traffic (unless there was an accident). Hah, just try to make that trip in under an hour nowadays.

That lovely bike lane sure is empty. I’m glad, though that no one is driving in the bike lane, because that kind of entitlement attitude sucks. I wish I was riding my bike, right about now. And I too, would be smugly sailing past all of these people sitting there putting wear and tear on their gas beasts.

Can you ride a scooter in a bike lane? Not legally, but I would if I had one, admittedly, just to get out of here.

How long have I been sitting here? Gas, clutch, brake. Crawling, crawling. Oh, am I just uncoordinated with the clutch and gas, or does that jumping mean the clutch is going. Noooo! I need a stretch of good solid driving movement to cool her off. How I long to move, to get out of here. The next turn off from this road is… too far away. I’m stuck. Hope the car holds out.

It’s a good thing I’m listening to this calming Be Good Tanyas CD.

This is taking far too long, even with an accident. Move it, people. Let me out of here!

The Car is Dead. We’re on the Road to Nowhere. It’s either move to a smaller town or just ride everywhere on two wheels.

I’m only driving alone because I had to go an appointment in another part of city, anyway. Surely the rest of you could have carpooled.

Please stop reproducing. You’re annoying me. Your children are annoying me. I’m stuck on a planet with too many of you. Yesterday a small child threw a stick at me as I was walking past him. It was just a twig, but it was deliberate. The parent said nothing to me, or to the child. I weep for our future.

No more driving in rush hour. Not on my otherwise beloved standard tranny, anyway.

I really understand that Michael Douglas movie, Falling Down, now. Shall I act out the home version?

And I’ve broken free.

On my way home. Thank god.