I said it before, and I’ll say it again: I really, really hate spam. It’s getting to the point where I feel personally invaded by this barrage on my e-mail inbox.

The funny thing is, the spam is all directed at my personal e-mail account; none of it seems to come to my professional address, which is the e-mail address I tend to advertise more. And for entering contests (I love to enter contests!) I use an arms-length hotmail account.

Luckily, my Internet provider tags the offending e-mails, thus allowing me to set up a delete filter and send it all straight to the trash folder. But still, for every piece of legit mail, there’s about five pieces of spammy, stupid crap. I hate the fake names and quasi legitimate subject lines: “You gotta look at this!” “Your account details need updating,” and the ever-popular “Do you want to enlarge your penis?” I hate that if I go on vacation, I’m either going to have to download 200 messages (mostly spam) or laboriously delete them if I check messages via the webmail thingy.

Yes, I could change my personal e-mail address. But the truth is, I’m rather attached to it, having used it so long. It reminds me of “Michael Bolton” from Office Space responding to the suggestion that he change his name: “Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.” Exactly. Spammers, you’re the ones who suck.

In theory, if you ignore it long enough it will go away. But unfortunately, somebody out there is still falling for the promise of millions in Africa-stashed loot, Russian mail-order brides, and lots and lots of cheap, sex-enhancing drugs to make the most of it. So the rest of us suffer the consequences of having to deal with a daily tidal   wave of these stupid and potentially dangerous (as in virus-infected) messages. Oh, Internet.

My personal address is also tied to my Facebook account, but I’ve locked up my profile, and Facebook cleverly displays e-mail addresses as an image file rather than as a hyperlink. Still, could that affect the amount of spam I’m getting?