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My pristine ovaries are getting all twisted around today due to a story in The Tyee’s Book section. They posted an excerpt from a new book called Nobody’s Mother: Life without Kids, a beautiful essay by Lorna Crozier about not having children (by choice) and how there are simply no postive words that we’ve come up with in the English language to describe the condition of not having them. (Childless or childfree have never felt quite right, either.)
The comments are quite interesting, as usual, and yours truly could not resist jumping into the fray. Is it getting hot in here? I probably sound a bit defensive but it gets a little tiring to always have to explain to well-meaning fools why I don’t want to have children. Thank god that pack does not include my immediate family, who have never once pressured me to “c’mon and give us some grandkids.”
Via Matt,
this is the only mini-me I’m likely to produce:
Except I think her hair is too red. No child is perfect.

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I don’t know which is the bigger story today – the Democrats taking back Congress, or Britney Spears dropping about 180 lbs of white-trash fat in a hat. Go Democrats! Go Britney!
But that’s all just preamble to bring you a link with some actual literary relevance: the winners of a contest to create campaign signs for fictional characters. My favourite slogans? “Viola Swamp for Board of Education: Paid for the by the Committee to Oust Miss Nelson” and “Gregor Samsa: It’s Time for a Change!”
It’s gonna be a good day.

Since posting the last message yesterday about Americans wanting to move to Canada, I spent a fair amount of time clicking through the local rants and raves and discussion forums at Craigslist. Lots of vitriol out there, Canadians and Americans calling each other Nazis, fighting viciously over our respective advantages. Recent columns of Savage Love have also gotten into the act of promoting Canada as this utopian wonderland of tolerance, gay marriage, pot, and health care.

Well, it may be true that in Vancouver at least, the cops turn a blind eye to people shooting up heroin in alleyways (though it depends on the neighbourhood), but they’ll haul you in for lighting up a ciggy in the wrong place, such as a licensed drinking establishment.

If any Americans are actually reading this, and considering a move to our special corner of the world – British Columbia may not be the place to go if you are looking to escape one-party rule and a one-trick-pony media that turns a blind eye to our business-lovin’ leader getting caught driving under the influence. In another country. And splashing his mugshot across the papers, then promptly forgetting about it. They also obediently refrained from asking any impolite questions the next year when the police raided the provincial house of government and took out boxes of evidence allegedly related to ministerial staff being involved in biker gangs and drug dealing on company time. But our courts sealed up the warrants so that we couldn’t find out why they went in or exactly what they got. The Premier couldn’t even be bothered to return from his vacation to comment, as I recall

The Men in Suits we allow to rise to the top in both countries are all running their domains very much like CEOs – they don’t respect us peons who elect (or don’t elect) them, and they don’t want any input or oversight into how things are gonna go (that point I must credit to a recent essay in Bitch magazine). The point being, we have arrogant pooheads running the show here in Canada too. We also fear a vote for an alternative party is going to throw the election to the guy we don’t want to win.

Maybe its all a bit rambly today – there are many things I love about Canada and lots I love about the US. Where would we be without Elvis, barbecue, The Great Gatsby, John Steinbeck, Hollywood movies, New York City, lightbulbs, Microsoft and The Simpsons? We could certainly do without Britney Spears, reality TV, the KKK, nuclear weapons, SUVs and guys who think “pimpin’ hos” is really cool, but guess what? You can see all the American TV shows here anyway.

By the way, if you want that free knee surgery, health care comes with a line-up. No place is perfect, but Canada is home to me. If you want to make it yours too (not just an escape route) Canada welcomes you.

Although I didn’t bother watching any of the presidential debates, I have been following the coverage of the “bulge” in Bush’s back with some interest. Tried to upload some pictures in case you haven’t seen them, but Hello! does not seem to want to be friends with Blogger yet. As would be expected, the various theories of what the heck could cause a rectangular bump under W’s jacket have not been covered in the mainstream news; were it not for my twin obsessions of Daily Show viewings (Jon Stewart – poster boy for yummy smartypants men) and Salon.com I would have no idea it was even there.

Salon has done a few very good articles covering the question of what the bulge could be caused by, including one where they talk to experts in the fields of in-ear prompters, self-protective gear as well as the bloggers who believe Bush was wired in the debates. If its true that he was getting help with his homework, it would explain why he never seems to be able to just spit out a whole goshdanged sentence all at once.

So, here’s a brief list of stuff that makes me feel smarter:

the weekend edition of the Globe and Mail

CBC TV documentaries, especially The Passionate Eye

Salon.com

the Tyee

Geist magazine

CBC Radio

On the other hand, I don’t really understand this whole Slate thing I keep hearing about. All their links seem to lead to MSN stuff.

Gotta go. Must knit.

Flickr Photos