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The other day I was doing my little agricultural thing, going to the u-pick to gather delicious fresh BC strawberries. It was a weekday, so my willing slave and I were the only adults there of working/childbearing age who didn’t have a bunch of little kiddies with us.

A couple of rows over, a child starts wailing and screaming. She’s tired of this picking business. Waah, waah, waah, and making noises that you didn’t know a human could make.

In my row, concentrating on getting at the ripest, most lovely strawberries, I think to myself, “I’m sure glad someone else has to deal with the little screamer.”

Double-dipped chocolate strawberries

Traffic is moving a little too slowly. What the hell happened?

Ah, it’s raining a little. It’s been sunny. Therefore, there’s probably been an accident. Why are people so stupid? Why don’t they be a little more careful?

Oh look, the street’s been blocked off. Must be a doozy. Should I turn around, or follow the traffic along the detour? Looks like a few people are turning around. Hmmm. Nah, I’ll just run into traffic somewhere else.

Why did I decide to drive somewhere at 4 pm on a weekday?

You know, it didn’t used to be like this, all this traffic everywhere.

Isn’t it Bike to Work Week this week?

I hate each and every one of you, especially those of you in front of me. Why aren’t we moving?

Back in the day, I always had these boyfriends who lived in Burnaby, even though I lived in North Van. And because I was in University, I had evening jobs. So I could go to my boyfriend’s house in the afternoon, and make it to my job in North Van in about half an hour, in rush hour traffic (unless there was an accident). Hah, just try to make that trip in under an hour nowadays.

That lovely bike lane sure is empty. I’m glad, though that no one is driving in the bike lane, because that kind of entitlement attitude sucks. I wish I was riding my bike, right about now. And I too, would be smugly sailing past all of these people sitting there putting wear and tear on their gas beasts.

Can you ride a scooter in a bike lane? Not legally, but I would if I had one, admittedly, just to get out of here.

How long have I been sitting here? Gas, clutch, brake. Crawling, crawling. Oh, am I just uncoordinated with the clutch and gas, or does that jumping mean the clutch is going. Noooo! I need a stretch of good solid driving movement to cool her off. How I long to move, to get out of here. The next turn off from this road is… too far away. I’m stuck. Hope the car holds out.

It’s a good thing I’m listening to this calming Be Good Tanyas CD.

This is taking far too long, even with an accident. Move it, people. Let me out of here!

The Car is Dead. We’re on the Road to Nowhere. It’s either move to a smaller town or just ride everywhere on two wheels.

I’m only driving alone because I had to go an appointment in another part of city, anyway. Surely the rest of you could have carpooled.

Please stop reproducing. You’re annoying me. Your children are annoying me. I’m stuck on a planet with too many of you. Yesterday a small child threw a stick at me as I was walking past him. It was just a twig, but it was deliberate. The parent said nothing to me, or to the child. I weep for our future.

No more driving in rush hour. Not on my otherwise beloved standard tranny, anyway.

I really understand that Michael Douglas movie, Falling Down, now. Shall I act out the home version?

And I’ve broken free.

On my way home. Thank god.

There are just two things I would like to do this year.

The first is to blog more. I’ve got to get out of this space in my head that this must a professional, topical blog. Screw that idea, which was impressed upon me by various and sundry professional readiness teachers who encouraged the use of the blog as some sort of personal marketing tool. No, no, no. The thought of disapproving employers reading the contents of my twisted, cynical brainwaves just froze up the fingers. They couldn’t fing. As of now, I’m changing the name of this puppy and getting free.

The second is – not getting suckered in by any more lantern festivals. In the past year, I’d see the ads for one, get all excited, and try to drag all my friends out. Then I’d go, disgruntled husband in tow, to look at… candles and flashlights in the dark. Sure there were some interesting displays, sort of.  But I was forced to admit “Wow this is really boring.” to all those afflicted by my lantern mania this year, I’m sorry. There will be no more.

When I logged into WordPress this post caught my eye:

The Christine Donovan Effect

I thought it was about me. I thought it was all about me. But no, it seems that sports are very popular these days.

Flickr Photos